You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
