he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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