She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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