i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
