honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
