some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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