Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
