Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
