i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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