Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
