dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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