The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
