just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize