If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
