He kissed a someone with a penis
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
