Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
