it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
