haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i love accidental penises.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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