i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
