Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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