Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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