At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I still have a little drunk in my system
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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