i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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