im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
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It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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