I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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