I'm lost and stupid without you.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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