before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
