If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize