Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
