just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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