did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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