Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I will die if light touches me.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
