you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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