Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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