That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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