She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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