i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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