He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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