Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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