Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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