his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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