My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
