If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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