I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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