I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
