I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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