Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
