Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
