I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
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Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
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Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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