Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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