I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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