look no pants
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Randomize
