I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
