grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
