well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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