the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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