Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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