...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
