Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
