the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
