It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
