I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
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i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
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You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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