Sry I called you an 8
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just want nice things and good sex
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
