i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
