How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
