Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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