GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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